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September 15, 2008
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Missionary b-day by Swashbookler Missionary b-day by Swashbookler
You know how those ladies in the bikini's jump out of the cake sometimes......well for a missionary that would be bad! They live like monks for two years only they get out more. So this is another one of those Mormon (Latter Day Saint) jokes so some-a-ya'll might not get it.
I drew this for my friend on a mission, he comes home in October, he's excited. I keep him in touch with the Mormon version of carnal mindedness. Meaning not a Charlie church or a peter preisthood or a Molly Mormon. Or otherwise not a orthodox Mormon.
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:iconsurfbaby89:
Surfbaby89 Featured By Owner Jun 7, 2011  Hobbyist General Artist
LOL! dude... you should of drawn like a barbiedoll or something in it... just for fun. XD you write the best little mormon comics I've seen!
You know I have a saying. You know your a true believer because you can laugh at yourself. XD
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:iconswashbookler:
Swashbookler Featured By Owner Jun 7, 2011  Student General Artist
well, it all started when I was given the task of sacrament program and then person who had the calling before me always put Mormon comics in them....but they weren't funny.
So I decided to take things into my own hands. (watch out for political cartoonists, we do things like this. mwa haw haw haw haw)
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:iconstrawberryaqua:
StrawberryAqua Featured By Owner Jul 13, 2010
That cake is too small for a person to jump out of. It would have to be a bikini-clad Barbie doll.
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:iconswashbookler:
Swashbookler Featured By Owner Jul 14, 2010  Student General Artist
Not if there's a hole in the table.
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:icontitianna:
Titianna Featured By Owner Sep 19, 2009
I havent seen a good mormon joke in a while. I LIVE in utah in Provo no less and that's ABSOLUTELY full of molly mormons and peter priesthoods. It's INSANE!!

Mostly cause I'm pagan...and I live less than 2 miles from BYU :cry:

So seeing great mormon jokes like this just brightens my day. :D
They really need to learn to laugh at themselves...sheesh!
Reply
:iconswashbookler:
Swashbookler Featured By Owner Sep 21, 2009  Student General Artist
I know seriously!
In that cheezy movie "Singles Ward" when he started cracking Mormon jokes I was laughing my head off but his stupid g-friend gets all offended, I was like Oh my gosh lady! Jeez. The thing I find hard to come by aren't Mormon jokes but ones that are actually funny so I decided to fill the void.
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:icontitianna:
Titianna Featured By Owner Sep 22, 2009
It's good to know that there are mormons out there that can laugh at themselves at least. heh.
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:iconswashbookler:
Swashbookler Featured By Owner Sep 23, 2009  Student General Artist
Seriously!
Oh speaking of hilarious, here is a story you will love:
A guy who was in my former ward does repair stuff and he had to do a repair in the Jordan River Temple and they just had him come in with his work clothes and temple recommend. ON his way out he was waiting for the elevator and a couple of elderly temple worker ladies in their white clothes were standing nearby looking at him curiously. Then he says,
"So you guyz are Momrons Right?"
You can imagine the looks on their faces XD Of course he let them off the hook but he sure got a good laugh XD LOL!
Reply
:icontitianna:
Titianna Featured By Owner Sep 24, 2009
That's great! Funniest thing ever. Fastest way to make a Mormon freak is to ask them if they're LDS while standing in the inner sanctum areas of a temple. :XD:

Sad thing is that a harvard study says Utahns have more online porn subscriptions per capita than any other state.

I blame it on sending off hormone ridden 19yr olds on missions to live by strict standards for a couple of years only to come home and STILL have to live dry only they're no longer under the watchful eye of 'big brother' if ya know what I mean. There are so many RM's that I know of that snagged up the first coed from BYU they can grab, marry her asap and start breeding like rabbits.

Its kinda sad in an actual sad way that they're so repressed. :(
Reply
:iconswashbookler:
Swashbookler Featured By Owner Sep 24, 2009  Student General Artist
Well for one thing about Utah, where ever the greatest good lies also lies the greatest evil. ONe is almost never without the other being present somewhere.

As far as snatch and breed....SO SO true!
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:icontitianna:
Titianna Featured By Owner Sep 24, 2009
:nod:
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:iconemjaicee:
Emjaicee Featured By Owner Dec 7, 2008  Hobbyist
that one missionary keeps popping up in yr comics... the scary one...oh so scary. lol
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:iconswashbookler:
Swashbookler Featured By Owner Dec 7, 2008  Student General Artist
That's because that's your typical nightmare companion.
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:icondoomydooms:
DoomyDooms Featured By Owner Nov 6, 2008  Hobbyist Writer
What if it's a hot chick dressed as Jesus? D: -slapped-
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:iconswashbookler:
Swashbookler Featured By Owner Nov 6, 2008  Student General Artist
O_O I think she'd get excommunicated XD
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:icondoomydooms:
DoomyDooms Featured By Owner Nov 6, 2008  Hobbyist Writer
Probably. xD
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:iconwakerra:
Wakerra Featured By Owner Nov 2, 2008  Hobbyist General Artist
the one guy looks like the "jykel" you made with the dont drink the water pic :rofl:
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:iconswashbookler:
Swashbookler Featured By Owner Nov 2, 2008  Student General Artist
Maybe it is!
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:iconwakerra:
Wakerra Featured By Owner Nov 2, 2008  Hobbyist General Artist
<.< >.> shifty eyes
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:iconink-dragon:
Ink-Dragon Featured By Owner Sep 23, 2008
lol that's so awesomw
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:iconhooksilversparrow:
HookSilverSparrow Featured By Owner Sep 19, 2008
AHAHAHA.
I love the evil grin!

I dunno much about Mormon missions, but my uncle is a catholic missionary... :shrug:
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:iconswashbookler:
Swashbookler Featured By Owner Sep 20, 2008  Student General Artist
Mormon missionaries are 19 year old boys who get shipped to foriegn countries for two years to prostlitie(how ever that's spelled) or preach religeon to those who want to hear it. But being 19 they can be mishevious.
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:iconhooksilversparrow:
HookSilverSparrow Featured By Owner Sep 29, 2008
Cool. Do all boys have to do it, or just the ones that choose to?
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:iconswashbookler:
Swashbookler Featured By Owner Sep 29, 2008  Student General Artist
It's like the ten commandments. We are commanded to but we can choose not to, so it becomes like the ten suggestions.
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:iconhooksilversparrow:
HookSilverSparrow Featured By Owner Sep 29, 2008
A-HA! nice explanation.
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:iconamiteaelfkin:
amiteaelfkin Featured By Owner Sep 18, 2008   Photographer
Oooohhh Nooooo......
Reply
:iconsoullostatsea:
SoulLostAtSea Featured By Owner Sep 17, 2008  Professional Traditional Artist
:rofl::w00t: Hilarious!
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:iconyoyobionicle:
Yoyobionicle Featured By Owner Sep 16, 2008
I love the fiendish grin. :D That grin just advertises pure evil. If there's no bikini chick in there, then there's a good chance there's cherry bombs instead.

"Live like monks for two years"! Yes! That is the ultimate description, dude! I've been trying to explain that concept to people for ages in far more complicated words. That says it right there. Thumbs up.

Oh noes, I still need to mail mine! Send me in a note, please, what's his new address?
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:iconswashbookler:
Swashbookler Featured By Owner Sep 16, 2008  Student General Artist
I don't know his new address, he hasn't told me yet so I just asume my gift will be even later when it has to be forwarded from the old address.
also I think there is another Elder inside the cake in his boxers.
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:iconyoyobionicle:
Yoyobionicle Featured By Owner Sep 17, 2008
(shudder)
Poor JT!
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:iconlonewolflover:
LoneWolfLover Featured By Owner Sep 16, 2008
I'm not sure I totally got it because I'm just plain RETARDED today, but the guy's expression made me giggle. :XD:

Also, the not scary guy has really big feet. :0 Or perhaps they're flippers...
SO THAT'S WHAT YOU CRAZY MORMONS DO IN YOUR CHURCHES!!!!!111!11!1one >O

Wow, a lady in only a bikini? I thought that died out years ago when that became soft porn. Nowadays they have to be totally stark naked to be considered even remotely thrilling.
Which wouldn't be too fun for the chickie in the cake because frosting is cold! D:
Also, how do they get IN the cake? I'd think they'd die in the oven. Or drown in the batter. Or eat it all, thus ruining their diets and their jobs.
Now I'm just getting silly.
:iconohmaiplz:

THIS HAS BEEN ANOTHER USELESS COMMENT BROUGHT TO YOU BY
MAPLE SUGAR CANDY
AVAILABLE AT YOUR LOCAL CRACKER BARREL! 8D
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:iconswashbookler:
Swashbookler Featured By Owner Sep 16, 2008  Student General Artist
Bikini is the worst a slacker mormon could let it get. As a church we completely attack porn as pure evil and shun it....but individuals do have problems. ):
Anywho in cake science I asume it is hollow inside with a hole in the table.
Mormon Missionaries are recognized as two 19 year old guys who travel in twos who have to live together in an apartment for two years in a forign country and wear almost nothing else but suits and ties. But the important thing to note is they are nineteen and they are in a foreign country. That's gotta mean trouble!!
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:iconlonewolflover:
LoneWolfLover Featured By Owner Sep 17, 2008
:XD: Porn is not good. No, no, no... :no:
But it can make for humorous situations... >.>;;

THERE'S A CAKE SCIENCE CLASS?!? =O That's it, I'm dropping Earth Science. >D

Ahhhhhhhh. Okay. I'm neither relious nor mormon, so I guess I need to pull up wikipedia for my own sake. :XD:
Yes, I can see the troubles now:
FRUSTRATION, AGRIVATION, TEMPTATION!! >O
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:iconswashbookler:
Swashbookler Featured By Owner Sep 18, 2008  Student General Artist
My dad has the best missionary stories mWA HAW HAW HAW HAW!
But we'll not go into those.
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:iconlonewolflover:
LoneWolfLover Featured By Owner Sep 18, 2008
D:< HOW CAN YOU BE SO SELFISH?! >O
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:iconswashbookler:
Swashbookler Featured By Owner Sep 18, 2008  Student General Artist
Okay I will tell you one of my favorites:
My dad went to Belgium, Brussels for his two year mission and they lived in this little apartment in France this one time, eight stories up. Across the road in this yard these people had this dog that would yap and yap every night non stop and they had all been living with it for months or weeks. Anyway they get this new guy and he brought with him a whole bunch of M-80's (powerful and illegal explosives). Now you see where this is starting to go.
So his first night he's laying there listening to this dog go on and on and he's like, "I'm here for several months I'm not putting up with this." So he gets up and opens the door to the balcony and looks down at his target which is a small sun roof window in this awning in this back yard where the dog was kept. He goes to the opposite end of the apartment into the next room, pulls out one of these M-80's, light's it, runs across the apartment, reaches the balccony, throws it, and it falls and falls and falls and lands perfectly through this little window. Everyone crowds the balcony to watch and they see the little dog walk up to the bomb and then there was a flash of light and an ear splitting- KA-BOOOOOM! (twenty years ago there was a war going on so the French were a little paranoid at the time). All the elders(missionaries) dive for their beds and hide under their blankets as lights all over the city turn on and police sirens start going off. Next morning they look out the window into that yard and their is this big black scorch mark on the cement and they never heard from the dog again.
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:iconlonewolflover:
LoneWolfLover Featured By Owner Sep 19, 2008
LOLOLOLOLOLOLOLOLOLOLOLAWL
I LOVE THAT GUY NOW AND FOREVER!! ~:heart:

If only we could still do stuff like that... >.>
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:iconswashbookler:
Swashbookler Featured By Owner Sep 20, 2008  Student General Artist
I know seriously, I've had pleanty of nighborhood dogs and neighbors I would like to blow up sometimes.
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:iconblazedancer:
blazedancer Featured By Owner Sep 16, 2008
hehe that would be very bad, like potential dishonored release, or as my RM sister would say
"tottaly OC, and borderline apostate" (oc as in out of control)
but great for a laugh if your companion ever, pretended that there was a lady in your cake.
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:iconswashbookler:
Swashbookler Featured By Owner Sep 16, 2008  Student General Artist
Who knows it could be one of the elders in his boxers in there.
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:iconblazedancer:
blazedancer Featured By Owner Sep 17, 2008
you know, after I commented I thought the same thing.
it would be really fun to make you companion think you were breaking serious rules, and then it's really just another elder.
is it just me or do I have a strange sence of humor?
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:iconswashbookler:
Swashbookler Featured By Owner Sep 17, 2008  Student General Artist
No that is a great sense of humor.
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:iconblazedancer:
blazedancer Featured By Owner Sep 17, 2008
aaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaah, thanks. not everyone thinks so. but then, I'm not trying to please everyone.
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:iconlonewolflover:
LoneWolfLover Featured By Owner Sep 16, 2008
I'd prefer that over a lady in a bikini ANY day. 8D
*BRICK'D*
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:iconswashbookler:
Swashbookler Featured By Owner Sep 16, 2008  Student General Artist
Yeah those missionary's are studs from riding bikes for two years straight...unless the neighbors feed them well and they have a car.
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:iconlonewolflover:
LoneWolfLover Featured By Owner Sep 17, 2008
:lmao:
If only we all lived the missionary life style. :0
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:iconswashbookler:
Swashbookler Featured By Owner Sep 18, 2008  Student General Artist
Trust me, I wouldn't want to. Too many rules.
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:iconlonewolflover:
LoneWolfLover Featured By Owner Sep 18, 2008
Theocracy? D:
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:iconswashbookler:
Swashbookler Featured By Owner Sep 18, 2008  Student General Artist
More like, curfew, standards of living, no girls, stay outta trouble, be to bed by ten. Just rules to keep them out of trouble and moral stuff. But they do have to hold themselves to a high standard while out there, it turns a boy into a man.
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(1 Reply)
:iconsajer:
Sajer Featured By Owner Sep 16, 2008
for guys asking carnal mindeness is hard. the instant you tell them to stop thinking about girls that way they get a paniced/pissed look. (some anyway)
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